A Guide to Spotting the Slutty Girl

I'd like to start out this article by giving you my own personal definition of slut. A slut is girl that uses her sexuality as a means of expression. I'm aware that won't change girls equation of me = judgmental asshole and guys equation of slut = blowjob in the back alley. However, take note of a few things about this definition:

1) It is totally void of judgment. It is not a good or bad thing, fulfilling or draining, or even useful or detrimental, to be a slut. In other words, sluts are neutral in my moral hemisphere. I do not expect many to share the same view point.

2) With that said, sluts very much are like anything else in the world. It's like the old saying goes: "Nothing is either good or bad, only thinking makes it so." Sluts are like fire, water and white people--they can be bearers of immense pleasure, or harbingers of death.

3) Slut is a noun, but it can also be an adjective. Example:

That girl is a slut = Noun usage
That girl is wearing a slutty dress = adjective.

This is grammar lesson might seem trivial, but it highlights the key difference in my thinking compared to the rest of the population about sluts. I do not believe sluts exist. Yes, a girl can act so slutty that she becomes known by that identity, but it's not like it's her height. It can be changed, and it does change (by option or de facto when she's over the hill) It's an adjective. Stupid people occasionally have moments of brilliance, but continued moments of idiocy usually does get someone branded a moron for life. It's not fair, but it's what happens.

4) Sluts are not whores. Yes, in the heat of battle, even I slip up and refer to them as whores, but it's important to remember that whore is an actual profession. It's just that to be a whore, the slut must be strong within you. The inverse of this statement is no true, therefore the terms not interchangable.

5) There are degrees of slutdom, but being born with a vagina means you score at least 1 point according to my definition. Yes, I realize that I'm saying that every woman is a slut but if you look at my definition you'll realize this is not good or bad, only the truth. Also, all guys are horndogs to some degree. Even the nicest guy in the world, if he was born with a penis, will have considered sleeping with anything in a skirt at one point or another.

6) Yes, I believe girls go through a slut phase. It's not fair (or even logical) to brand them highly slutty when they are 26 and in a committed relationship for things they did when they were 19 and drinking till they blackout and woke up in some guys bed. To take maximum advantage of this knowledge, you obviously would want to hit them in the slut phase with the tide (and panties) are low. Stay away from high tide. Cost/benefit analysis usually doesn't bode well.

7) Finally, even though I think slut a neutral term, I realize most people do not share that view. To all the girls reading this who are getting their g-strings in a fit over my highly judgmental term (despite my defense earlier in the post) to you I say this: If you think slut is a negative term, then it is to you. I'm not going to stop using it to describe certain aspects of female behavior anymore than you'll stop using the word stupid to describe people who do shit like graduate from high school at 22 or who asks the police to test their crack for purity.

With all of the above said, I bring to you my own personal checklist for spotting the sluttiest girls at any venue. I know guys will be eating this up, and women will now wonder how slutty they're appearing when they go out. However, I suspect barring a one or two startling revelations, most girls already know the answer and will deny their sluttiness. Or better yet, defend their position as being innocent. Fuck that noise, I know better.

Smokers: +10

I first made this connection when I got old enough to go out to bars. Too bad I didn't realize it sooner. Give a girl 10 points on her sluttiness scale if you notices she smokes. I'm sure it's no coincidence that the girl who is mostly like to blow you that night also enjoys sucking on the long cylindrical objects that can kill her. And hey, just think, dicks don't usually cause cancer (except in the case of penis exposed to fallout. in that case, make sure you wear a lead condom). Those argue against this, statistics, I summon thee!


Heavy drinkers: +10

Here is a secret I bet no one knows: the more flowing the nectar of the gods is, the more flowing her nectar will be. I've even got this shit worked out mathematically. Whatever the girls BAC is, the more likely it is she'll spread for someone that night. Don't get caught up in the semantics--some girls have standards and will only jerk you off or blow you.

If you use my formula, then a girl who does a few shots and gets a respective BAC of .15 is 30 percent more likely to ramp her slut to porn star levels. Those that drink to barely can walk levels more than twice a week should automatically light up on any guys radar if she's in their social circle, and at the bar, and at parties or bars, watch for any girl doing shots.

"All you got to do is use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows to tackle a gazelle? It's written, it's a code written in his DNA, says, "Tackle the gazelle." And believe it or not, in every man there's a code written that says, "Tackle drunk bitches."
-Jay, The Forty Year Old Virgin

Hard Drug Users: 15-20+

Risky behaviors comes in clusters, so if you want to separate out the easiest, sluttiest girls, find one that indulges heroin, cocaine, meth or pcp. However, if you get HIV or wake up with your shit stolen by a crackhead, don't blame me. I'm just pointing out trends. I don't want to be responsible for what the cat dragged in.

Tattoos and Piercings: +8, +1 for each subsequent tattoo and piercing, +12 for a lower back tattoo independant in addition to prior score., +20 for nipple ring, +40 for clit ring

It's called a "Tramp Stamp" and not a "Nun Stamp" or an "I'm saving myself for marriage stamp." Whether it's being slutty that makes a girl get a tattoo, or girls that opt to get tattoos are more slutty, I can't say. No one knows whether the chicken came before the egg--all we know is that chickens and eggs are fuckin delicious and we can't have one without the other.

Athletic/Competitive Women: +5

This only gets five points, and like everything else in this list, it is a gross generalization, but my experience and shown a strong enough correlation to where I trust it and therefore so should you. Competition and athletic ability are fueled by that wonderful hormone testosterone. Testerone is responsible for all sorts of wonderful things, though none more wonderful than our sex drive. The more of it you have, the more horny you'll be. You'll also be more competative and athletic, hence the relationship. Guys have 40-60 times more of testosterone than women, which accounts for our "bang anything that moves after we play a game of tackle football without pads" mentality, but girls are far more sensitive to it's effects. Find a girl that likes to compete at everything or plays a few sports, and she is guaranteed to be a little more slutty than your run of the mill submissive girly girl.

Girls on Meds: +10 to 15

Any tried and true player in the game has had to notice a striking relationship between girls that admit they are taking anti depressants or mood altering medication, and their level of sluttiness. I do not know the science behind this one exactly, but I know it's so true that any girl that mentions meds in her background I automatically start to a detailed cost-benefit analysis in my head before deciding the appropriate course of action. Most times it's just not worth it because life is already crazy enough without dealing with someone who is legitimately crazy.

Fresh out of Mid-Long Term Relationship: +8

Something about getting out of a relationship brings out this super fierce empowerment in women that makes them do slutty things to verify the end of co-dependance. While these girls may not be extremely slutty normally, they decide to go do slutty because they either want to experience freedom, get back at their ex's, or are just downright depressed and need a way to cope. Thus things like alcohol, hard drugs, cigarettes, and maybe even anti depressants come into play. The funny thing is that this does not last a very long time, so strike while the iron is hot (hey! it's point six being referenced!). These girls tend to be easier. Hence the term, "rebound."

Her (close) Friends are Slutty: +8

Everyone picks their friends based on similar core ideas and value systems. Their especially close friends anyhow. True, you may have a social circle that carries a broad spectrum of personality and ideas, but pay attention to that 80/20 you spend most of your time with and are closest with. 20 percen to the people you spend 80 percent of your time communicating with and talking with will be a lot more similar to you than the other 80 percent. It's a not hard fact (hey, none of this is actually) that they'll share the same view of promiscuity, but it's A LOT MORE LIKELY.

With that list in hand, tally it up. I made these numbers up on the fly based on how much of a single reliable indicator they are, so I don't know what score correlates to what lever of sluttiness, but the higher the numbers, the more likely the girl is at low tide.

A Guide to Spotting the Slutty Girl

[caption id="attachment_82" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="...I think I know this girl..."][/caption]

I'd like to start out this article by giving you my own personal definition of slut. A slut is girl that uses her sexuality as a means of expression. I'm aware that won't change girls equation of me = judgmental asshole and guys equation of slut = blowjob in the back alley. However, take note of a few things about this definition:

1) It is totally void of judgment. It is not a good or bad thing, fulfilling or draining, or even useful or detrimental, to be a slut. In other words, sluts are neutral in my moral hemisphere. I do not expect many to share the same view point.

2) With that said, sluts very much are like anything else in the world. It's like the old saying goes: "Nothing is either good or bad, only thinking makes it so." Sluts are like fire, water and white people--they can be bearers of immense pleasure, or harbingers of death.

3) Slut is a noun, but it can also be an adjective. Example:

That girl is a slut = Noun usage
That girl is wearing a slutty dress = adjective.

This is grammar lesson might seem trivial, but it highlights the key difference in my thinking compared to the rest of the population about sluts. I do not believe sluts exist. Yes, a girl can act so slutty that she becomes known by that identity, but it's not like it's her height. It can be changed, and it does change (by option or de facto when she's over the hill) It's an adjective. Stupid people occasionally have moments of brilliance, but continued moments of idiocy usually does get someone branded a moron for life. It's not fair, but it's what happens.

4) Sluts are not whores. Yes, in the heat of battle, even I slip up and refer to them as whores, but it's important to remember that whore is an actual profession. It's just that to be a whore, the slut must be strong within you. The inverse of this statement is no true, therefore the terms not interchangable.

5) There are degrees of slutdom, but being born with a vagina means you score at least 1 point according to my definition. Yes, I realize that I'm saying that every woman is a slut but if you look at my definition you'll realize this is not good or bad, only the truth. Also, all guys are horndogs to some degree. Even the nicest guy in the world, if he was born with a penis, will have considered sleeping with anything in a skirt at one point or another.

6) Yes, I believe girls go through a slut phase. It's not fair (or even logical) to brand them highly slutty when they are 26 and in a committed relationship for things they did when they were 19 and drinking till they blackout and woke up in some guys bed. To take maximum advantage of this knowledge, you obviously would want to hit them in the slut phase with the tide (and panties) are low. Stay away from high tide. Cost/benefit analysis usually doesn't bode well.

7) Finally, even though I think slut a neutral term, I realize most people do not share that view. To all the girls reading this who are getting their g-strings in a fit over my highly judgmental term (despite my defense earlier in the post) to you I say this: If you think slut is a negative term, then it is to you. I'm not going to stop using it to describe certain aspects of female behavior anymore than you'll stop using the word stupid to describe people who do shit like graduate from high school at 22 or who asks the police to test their crack for purity.

With all of the above said, I bring to you my own personal checklist for spotting the sluttiest girls at any venue. I know guys will be eating this up, and women will now wonder how slutty they're appearing when they go out. However, I suspect barring a one or two startling revelations, most girls already know the answer and will deny their sluttiness. Or better yet, defend their position as being innocent. Fuck that noise, I know better.

Smokers: +10

I first made this connection when I got old enough to go out to bars. Too bad I didn't realize it sooner. Give a girl 10 points on her sluttiness scale if you notices she smokes. I'm sure it's no coincidence that the girl who is mostly like to blow you that night also enjoys sucking on the long cylindrical objects that can kill her. And hey, just think, dicks don't usually cause cancer (except in the case of penis exposed to fallout. in that case, make sure you wear a lead condom). Those argue against this, statistics, I summon thee!


Heavy drinkers: +10

Here is a secret I bet no one knows: the more flowing the nectar of the gods is, the more flowing her nectar will be. I've even got this shit worked out mathematically. Whatever the girls BAC is, the more likely it is she'll spread for someone that night. Don't get caught up in the semantics--some girls have standards and will only jerk you off or blow you.

If you use my formula, then a girl who does a few shots and gets a respective BAC of .15 is 30 percent more likely to ramp her slut to porn star levels. Those that drink to barely can walk levels more than twice a week should automatically light up on any guys radar if she's in their social circle, and at the bar, and at parties or bars, watch for any girl doing shots.

"All you got to do is use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows to tackle a gazelle? It's written, it's a code written in his DNA, says, "Tackle the gazelle." And believe it or not, in every man there's a code written that says, "Tackle drunk bitches."
-Jay, The Forty Year Old Virgin

Hard Drug Users: 15-20+

Risky behaviors comes in clusters, so if you want to separate out the easiest, sluttiest girls, find one that indulges heroin, cocaine, meth or pcp. However, if you get HIV or wake up with your shit stolen by a crackhead, don't blame me. I'm just pointing out trends. I don't want to be responsible for what the cat dragged in.

Tattoos and Piercings: +8, +1 for each subsequent tattoo and piercing, +12 for a lower back tattoo independant in addition to prior score., +20 for nipple ring, +40 for clit ring

It's called a "Tramp Stamp" and not a "Nun Stamp" or an "I'm saving myself for marriage stamp." Whether it's being slutty that makes a girl get a tattoo, or girls that opt to get tattoos are more slutty, I can't say. No one knows whether the chicken came before the egg--all we know is that chickens and eggs are fuckin delicious and we can't have one without the other.

Athletic/Competitive Women: +5

This only gets five points, and like everything else in this list, it is a gross generalization, but my experience and shown a strong enough correlation to where I trust it and therefore so should you. Competition and athletic ability are fueled by that wonderful hormone testosterone. Testerone is responsible for all sorts of wonderful things, though none more wonderful than our sex drive. The more of it you have, the more horny you'll be. You'll also be more competative and athletic, hence the relationship. Guys have 40-60 times more of testosterone than women, which accounts for our "bang anything that moves after we play a game of tackle football without pads" mentality, but girls are far more sensitive to it's effects. Find a girl that likes to compete at everything or plays a few sports, and she is guaranteed to be a little more slutty than your run of the mill submissive girly girl.

Girls on Meds: +10 to 15

Any tried and true player in the game has had to notice a striking relationship between girls that admit they are taking anti depressants or mood altering medication, and their level of sluttiness. I do not know the science behind this one exactly, but I know it's so true that any girl that mentions meds in her background I automatically start to a detailed cost-benefit analysis in my head before deciding the appropriate course of action. Most times it's just not worth it because life is already crazy enough without dealing with someone who is legitimately crazy.

Fresh out of Mid-Long Term Relationship: +8

Something about getting out of a relationship brings out this super fierce empowerment in women that makes them do slutty things to verify the end of co-dependance. While these girls may not be extremely slutty normally, they decide to go do slutty because they either want to experience freedom, get back at their ex's, or are just downright depressed and need a way to cope. Thus things like alcohol, hard drugs, cigarettes, and maybe even anti depressants come into play. The funny thing is that this does not last a very long time, so strike while the iron is hot (hey! it's point six being referenced!). These girls tend to be easier. Hence the term, "rebound."

Her (close) Friends are Slutty: +8

Everyone picks their friends based on similar core ideas and value systems. Their especially close friends anyhow. True, you may have a social circle that carries a broad spectrum of personality and ideas, but pay attention to that 80/20 you spend most of your time with and are closest with. 20 percen to the people you spend 80 percent of your time communicating with and talking with will be a lot more similar to you than the other 80 percent. It's a not hard fact (hey, none of this is actually) that they'll share the same view of promiscuity, but it's A LOT MORE LIKELY.

With that list in hand, tally it up. I made these numbers up on the fly based on how much of a single reliable indicator they are, so I don't know what score correlates to what lever of sluttiness, but the higher the numbers, the more likely the girl is at low tide.

Racism is a Myth

I'd been searching long and hard for this article to post because I absolutely love it. I think it makes me a traitor to black people that I am agreeing with the logic here, but what hell, white people did bring me out of the jungle and gave me reading, laws, order and white women. Enjoy!:

Barack Obama has been facing some harsh criticism lately and, of course, far-left crazies like Jimmy Carter immediately claimed it was racism. As a member of the race ostensibly at the heart of this racism, I am offended by these immediate cries of "Racist!" I'm here to say not only does racism not exist now, it has never existed. Before your head explodes from thinking of a hundred examples simultaneously, let me continue.

I believe the entire concept of racism was concocted by the minorities we supposedly discriminate against. It's more comfortable for them to fabricate this idea that we target people different from us than it is to admit the universe is always coincidental in our favor. I can't say I blame them. I mean, if I had to pick an enemy, I would certainly prefer Caucasians to the entire fucking universe.

Slavery is likely an example you'd cite to discredit me, but let's examine that. We didn't take people from Africa because they were black; we did it because we needed laborers who would work for nothing. And since the dicks in America wanted to get paid, we went to Africa to buy some. It's not like we said "Sounds good. But I'm only doing it if they're black." We slaughter cattle because that's how you get beef. It's not like we hate cows.

And we only wiped out Indians because they were on land we wanted. Sure, their skin and clothes made them easy to target, but it's not WHY we did it. History would've played out the same if the indigenous people had been the crackeriest people ever. "This land yields great crops. Too bad you folks are white so we can't slaughter you and take it." Puh-leeze.

You might say this is all semantics. You might say, "Your reason for subjugating us is irrelevant. The fact is that you HAVE done terrible things to countless people for centuries and the roots of that behavior are so deep they haven't completely disappeared. The preposterous suggestion that it wasn't racially motivated isn't the point."

My response? I'm white so the point is whatever I say it is.
The point is Christian white men never target a group because it's different. It is sheer coincidence that all the people we've needed to enslave, kill, beat or rape have been different. We aren't racists because we say we're not racists. What part of that do you not get? If a prostitute calls herself a "performance artist," I don't call bullshit. I accept it as truth because she has made it her truth. And if your truth says that I AM racist, my truth trumps it somehow.

Have we made mistakes? Sure. But they were just several billion isolated incidents. It's not some centuries-old systemic problem you can slap a label on. That is too easy and, frankly, too ingenuous.
So, let's stop carelessly throwing around completely accurate and simultaneously false labels like "racist" "sexist" or "guy who just curbed that Mexican for no reason." Because when you get right down to it, we're all just people.

Sincerely,
Christian A. Whiteman III

P.S.
Affirmative action, now that's racist.

Mental Basics of Dating: There is No Reality, Only Perception

“If you want to get laid, the trick is not to bend the poon. But instead, realize there is no poon in the first place.”

Edward Latimore, Socially Offensive Blogger

There comes a point in every person’s life, while they are in pursuit of something they desire, that they must evaluate the progress made towards attaining their goal. Whether it’s to have a better sex life, to move up through the ranks of their company, or to get so high that they activate psychic abilities (that’s not being overly silly. I have witnessed such an endeavor and it actually ended with my friend being able to move drug paraphernalia with his mind. Yes, a randomly floating bong is about is interesting as it sounds), eventually they have to produce a result. Otherwise, it’s a failure. I can hear people going, “Oh but what about all the things you learn on the journey there?” That shit is all well and good but human beings (you and I, my friend) are goal driven creatures. We feel kinda funny when something we strived for falls through.

So what happens when you find that you aren’t succeeding the way you’d like despite how hard you focused on getting laid, getting paid, or moving objects with your mind? Well, the only logical thing there is to do: you look and see what you’ve done, and you try to fix it. At least that’s how it should happen.

During the actual application of this idea, a lot of us tend to do something else. Instead of looking at ourselves and see what the problem is with us, more often than not a person will look at everything BUT themselves for the solution to their problem. I’ve had several conversations with people about dating and it will probably never cease to amaze me how often they believe the prime suspect in the robbery of their love lives are the ones they desire, and not themselves. We’ve heard all the excuses from both sides, but here are two of the most common from both sides:

“Girls only like jerks, nice guys finish last”
“Guys only like girls are that are thin, pretty with big titties”

The analysis and solution to both of those terribly misinformed points will be approached in future articles, but what I want you to take away from this is that the moment you choose to believe either one of those statements (or anything along a similar vein) you can only loose. This is because they are designed to make you lose because they AREN’T TRUE. They do not represent reality, but they are convenient excuses for not looking at yourself as the solution.

Think of it this way: those are pretty popular statements, and I am not about to tell you that for whatever reason nice guys seem to be scoring at a disproportionately lower frequency than their jerky counter parts. And I’m not about to tell you that a woman’s body isn’t arguably the first and most important criteria for judging whether or not the interaction proceeds beyond hello in most situations. However, do you really believe that everyone you know that has any type of success in dating has their success because they are a jerk or a stupid blond? Look around at all the people married, or in relationships, or who are just plain old playing the field? They do things a certain a way, or did, and it’s not an accident, but you can never see what they are as long as you believe that there is somehow a written truth that severely diminishes your chances of ever having what you want.

Look at the success you want, study it, and commit to seeing what is really happening. Amateurs never understand why pros do certain things until they commit to learning whole heartedly from them. This is true in every single thing you can do. Until then, it just looks weird and they come up with all types of reasons why they’ll never be that good. Do not be that way. Try to see the reality behind all things and this will guide you on your journey.

Mental Basics of Dating: No One Cares

"I mean hey, no offense. It's just that there are a lot of people out there that don’t give a shit about you. And you know what…?
They don’t give a shit about anyone else there either. They don’t care whose dick is getting sucked or whose girlfriend cheated on who. So look, if you’re feeling stuck or frightened about this little tribal world you’re in, I’m here to tell you that it's all very ephemeral. It’s a dream. And as real as it seems to you and everyone else there, it is a short lived thing that exists for a brief moment of time and in a confined location in the universe… and it is yours to play with."
-Mark Redman, Author of Conquer Your Campus

This is a crucial idea to grasp if you wish to improve your dating life. Those three little words will save you a lot of grief, worry, guilt and embarrassment. The next time you are worried about a beautiful person rejecting your approach or advance, or you worry that the whole world will find out what a loser or slut you are because of some past transgression against the imaginary gatekeepers dating, stop.

Take a breath. And say to yourself, “No one cares.” Or if you haven’t quite calmed down after a girl tells you that she’d rather blow a rusty tailpipe than go on a date with you, “No one gives a fuck” is also a perfectly acceptable affirmation. No matter what words you chose to remind yourself, never forget that no one cares. Seriously. They don’t.
What exactly don’t people care about? Lots of things, but in this particular context it helps to remember that no one cares:

1) If you get rejected
2) If you spend the rest of your life masturbating and cursing the opposite sex
3) If you get laid
4) If things turned out well with that hottie in the corner you flirting with (unless that hottie happens to be said observers fiancee or more)
5) If you find love

This not only goes for the onlookers, but the person you decided was going to be the target of your courtship for the moment. Now it might actually feel like everyone at the party is looking at you like it’s 4th down with 2 seconds left with one play to win the game, but the reality is that most people don’t even know there’s a game on—at least not your game. They’re too concerned trying to score. And even if they aren’t, almost everyone has something going out that is more important than your hunt for a mate.

This isn’t grade school where everyone makes fun of you for having a crush because we all had cooties (though some of us still have cooties though—my doctor calls them herpes) No. Everyone is trying to get theirs, and no one is making fun of you or even thinking about you trying to get yours (with the possible exception of an angry and jealous ex).

And what about the person that just blew you off in polite (or not so polite) fashion? They may feel an inkling of guilt because most people don’t inherently enjoy being mean to people—even people they aren’t interested in. However, unless you did something truly ridiculous or awkward, your initial attempt won’t receive more than a passing through by them, and whether this bruises your ego or not, they probably will not remember you in a few short weeks anyway.

Regardless of what your worst nightmares are telling you, they aren’t sitting around laughing at you at every get together, they don’t tell stories about you each thanksgiving, and unless you are truly out of it, they probably won’t even recognize you if you run into the again unless it’s a specific type of social set up. Yes, it sucks, but it beats being the person that DOES leave an impression but does not get a date or phone number. Most times those people were [creepy, smelly, stupid, ugly, insert suitable adjective here] enough to leave a memory and for you people that fit that criteria, you will become an endless source of holiday stories. Sorry.

Now that I’ve shattered the illusion that people actually care what you do or will actually think about what you’re doing when you approach them or make passes, now here comes the good news (and my friends, remember, there is ALWAYS good news): This means that you are free to approach anyone you want because the memory does not stay with you or them, nor do they (or anyone else) particularly care. Even if you do fuck up and make a pass at someone’s wife, you’ll usually be politely corrected once. Consecutive passes typically result in a test of your chin against an angry fist.

This is the only way to improve—to always be approaching people. The only way to do this and learn from it is to not care too much about the particular outcome—only care about what you learned and experienced to make you better so that one day you can have whatever it is that you want from the opposite sex. Because if you don’t take this approach, it’s not like anyone will care to take your hand and do it for you. You might get lucky, but the reality is you probably won’t.

Though there are myriad types of prostitutes out there that care about your wallet in exchange for the illusion. Fuck the illusion, and fuck what you think people might be thinking. Remember—no one cares.

Mental Basics of Dating: You’re Going to Die

“Death is the road to awe”
Lord of Xibalba, The Fountain

In most courses of study, students start out in some class that ends with “101”. Well, in the class known as “dating” (or seduction, getting laid, meeting people, or whatever suits your fancy) you don’t even get to start in 101. This is no knock against you, but there are certain attitudes, mindsets and perspectives you need to consciously cultivate before you can even start on the basics of pure “dating” (I like the word “dating”, by the way. It covers such a broad spectrum. From now on, all things concerning non-platonic interactions shall be called dating unless it relates to a specific skill).

The series of post titled “The Mental Basics of Dating” will lay out the core beliefs to be successful not only at dating, but at all social interactions as a whole. If dating is a pro racecar driver with a seven speed stick shift cruising 200 miles per hour, then right know you are a little snot nose kid in just figuring out that moving on your legs on your tricycle gets you from point A to point B. The first lesson in the mental basics of dating is simple: You are going to die.

That’s right. There’s nothing you can do about this. I once heard that the only guarantees in life were paying taxes and death. Well that’s only partially true—you can evade taxes at your own peril. I’ve known people that have never paid taxes and the government may never find out. Perhaps they’ll succeed up until the day they die. Then it won’t matter. But with that simple reference to my criminal ties, a point is made. Nothing matters in the long run because it’s all going to come to an end—and while we don’t know what lies on the other side, we know a few fun and obvious facts about this side of the equation:

1) You can’t take shit with you
2) You don’t know when you’ll check out
3) You know that you can’t check back in
4) Whoever is left alive can no longer affect you
5) And lastly, you can no longer affect them.

With that said, how you spend the 60-80 years you have here is up to you, but in context of dating, think of it this way: You can lead a life full of great experiences and no regrets because you know that in the end, this game of life while eventually kick you off the island OR you can be timid and tentative and never experience nothing new or fun and still get kicked off the island anyway. The choice is yours, but as the great sage Jay-Z once said, “I can’t beat death so I’m tryin’ to beat life.” I’m assuming you are at least entertaining the possibility that anything I tell you might be useful so for you to proceed through anything else, I want you to consciously choose to use your next 60-80 years on this planet as if they don’t matter—because they don’t. Not in the long run, and in the medium and barely in the short term.

You can go smoke crack, and rob people, and do all sorts of stupid shit, or you can commit to having a rich and fulfilling 8 decades of life. I’m not telling you which to pick, but I’ve met a lot of crackheads and a lot of people who are successful and even though they’re both going to the land of no return, the guy with lots of options in life seems happier. You want to be that person with lots of options enjoying yourself, but if you find yourself being too scared to act in the fact of a beautiful person, or if you ever believe that you aren’t good enough, or will fail, remember, you’ll die no matter what you do, so you might as well do. Otherwise, just go smoke crack.

Stuff Niggas Like #3: Sitting In The Back of The Bus

I’ve recently become a pedestrian again due to my recent car crash, but sometimes getting around by foot alone simply takes too long. This means I had to man up and buy a bus pass for the time being. What I love about public transportation is the truly random assortment of people I encounter. Sure, there are some regulars—like the people going to and coming from work at the same time everyday—but for the most part, I usually enjoy knowing that I’ll never know who or what I’ll see on the bus. In my 24 years of taking the bus I’ve encountered everything from random men offering to blow my friends and I for food, to guys trying to sell me porn dvds, and even got into a fight or two with a homeless guy. However, no matter how crazy things get, I still know that I’ll always have two constants on public transportation no matter which city across America I’m in: people going to work everyday at the same time, and niggas sitting in the back of the bus.

Niggas like—no, they LOVE sitting in the back of the bus. No matter how many empty seats there are in the front, or how crowded the back may be with other niggas, you can be rest assured that whenever a nigga gets on the bus he will head straight to the rear. This is especially strange considering that for the majority of their time here in this country, niggas were not allowed to even step foot in the front end of bus for fear of being forced to sit in fried chicken restaurants and not being allowed to order anything. It would appear that years of being forced to sit in the back of the bus has etched an unbreakable habit into the future generations of niggas that compels with the conviction of Christ to sit in the back of the bus.

Because niggas can be quite territorial, you have to be careful if you find yourself accidentally pushed to the back of the bus. Full blown shoot outs have been known to erupt over who is king of the back of the bus so if you take a seat back there, caveat emptor. If you have absolutely no choice but to sit in the back of the bus, make sure you have a shiny fake police badge and a gun clearly on display, for this tends to dissuade most niggas from acting out. However, if you do not have these items, or your state is uptight about bringing a loaded gun onto a city bus or impersonating a police officer, car the next best thing: a book and a job application. That should scare most of them right off the bus and down to the nearest corner.