Mental Basics of Dating: You’re Going to Die

“Death is the road to awe”
Lord of Xibalba, The Fountain

In most courses of study, students start out in some class that ends with “101”. Well, in the class known as “dating” (or seduction, getting laid, meeting people, or whatever suits your fancy) you don’t even get to start in 101. This is no knock against you, but there are certain attitudes, mindsets and perspectives you need to consciously cultivate before you can even start on the basics of pure “dating” (I like the word “dating”, by the way. It covers such a broad spectrum. From now on, all things concerning non-platonic interactions shall be called dating unless it relates to a specific skill).

The series of post titled “The Mental Basics of Dating” will lay out the core beliefs to be successful not only at dating, but at all social interactions as a whole. If dating is a pro racecar driver with a seven speed stick shift cruising 200 miles per hour, then right know you are a little snot nose kid in just figuring out that moving on your legs on your tricycle gets you from point A to point B. The first lesson in the mental basics of dating is simple: You are going to die.

That’s right. There’s nothing you can do about this. I once heard that the only guarantees in life were paying taxes and death. Well that’s only partially true—you can evade taxes at your own peril. I’ve known people that have never paid taxes and the government may never find out. Perhaps they’ll succeed up until the day they die. Then it won’t matter. But with that simple reference to my criminal ties, a point is made. Nothing matters in the long run because it’s all going to come to an end—and while we don’t know what lies on the other side, we know a few fun and obvious facts about this side of the equation:

1) You can’t take shit with you
2) You don’t know when you’ll check out
3) You know that you can’t check back in
4) Whoever is left alive can no longer affect you
5) And lastly, you can no longer affect them.

With that said, how you spend the 60-80 years you have here is up to you, but in context of dating, think of it this way: You can lead a life full of great experiences and no regrets because you know that in the end, this game of life while eventually kick you off the island OR you can be timid and tentative and never experience nothing new or fun and still get kicked off the island anyway. The choice is yours, but as the great sage Jay-Z once said, “I can’t beat death so I’m tryin’ to beat life.” I’m assuming you are at least entertaining the possibility that anything I tell you might be useful so for you to proceed through anything else, I want you to consciously choose to use your next 60-80 years on this planet as if they don’t matter—because they don’t. Not in the long run, and in the medium and barely in the short term.

You can go smoke crack, and rob people, and do all sorts of stupid shit, or you can commit to having a rich and fulfilling 8 decades of life. I’m not telling you which to pick, but I’ve met a lot of crackheads and a lot of people who are successful and even though they’re both going to the land of no return, the guy with lots of options in life seems happier. You want to be that person with lots of options enjoying yourself, but if you find yourself being too scared to act in the fact of a beautiful person, or if you ever believe that you aren’t good enough, or will fail, remember, you’ll die no matter what you do, so you might as well do. Otherwise, just go smoke crack.