Stuff Niggas Like #2: Not Dancing In Dance Clubs

I don't know about you, but I know that I like to go out and have a good time on the weekends. Thirsty Thursdays, Get Fucked Up Fridays, Suck Down 50¢ Shots Saturdays, So Sauced I'm Calling Off From Work Sundays, and Man I Need To Drink Less Mondays are my favorites.

Even if I don't have more than a few drinks, I like to go out to the club and dance. Everyone loves the club for different reasons, but some people can't seem to find the love!

Niggas do not like dancing in clubs. This might come as a surprise since most niggas are descendants of people who made their living shucking and jiving, two stepping, and in some cases, being flat out Sambos. How do niggas like to kick back and enjoy themselves in the club if they just won’t dance? Well don’t worry if you plan on going out with a nigga or two because they’ve found other ways to enjoy the club. I’ll let a two rap songs make the point clear:

"See my niggas don't dance,
we just pull up our pants and,
do the rock away"
-Fat Joe, Lean Back

"I'm in the club posted up,
got my arms folded,
blunt in my mouth,
and these haters I'm scopin"
-Three 6 Mafia, Side To Side

This might sound strange to non niggas. I can hear you all now going, “Wait a second. These guys pay a 10 dollar cover charge just come in and do something they do street corners every night to sell crack and other illegal substances. What the fuck is the point?”

Well, Juicy J from Three 6 Mafia has another lyric for you to answer that question from the very same nigga club anthem quoted previously:

“I'm just tryin to get a mil
I ain't tryin to be the "MACK"
posted up in the club
with a pocket full of crack.......”
-Three 6 Mafia, Side to Side

“Ah, so that’s it. You guys are in there to sell crack? Makes perfect sense. Lots of crack user do hang out in night clubs.” Your assumption is correct. When it gets too competitive with night club lined up with so many non dancing crack dealers, you might have to be careful. Washed up former rap artist Bone Crusher (what a charming name), tells about his experience in the club when too many crackdealers can’t settle things with a simple break dance off:

"So, I'm outside of da club, and you think I'm a punk!!
So I go to my loaded TEC-9 that's off in the trunk!!"
-Bone Crusher, Never Scared

And, there you have it ladies and gentlemen, the fundamentals of clubbing with niggas. No dancing. All business. If the thought of crackheads and guns scare you, you can rest easy my non niggery friends. Clubs have come up with elaborate security measures to keep this kind of nonsense out the club.
Even though it's the 21st century, a subtle form of racism has been summoned with a very old and ancient spell to keep even the most powerful of niggerlords out of your domain. The magic is called a dress code. Now to get into any decent club, you can't wear boots, hoodies, do-rags, fitted caps, or tee's of any sort. Niggas have been known to spontaneously combust if anything other the above attire and prison jumpsuits touch their skin.
I wouldn’t worry about them though because why would they want to be in a club where people aren't standing around mean muggin', just waiting to pick a fight?