Stuff Niggas Like #1: Being Late

Did you know that it is literally against the laws of physics for niggas to arrive on time anywhere? If you've been in the unfortunate position of having your plans depend on niggas, you know to set your watch to Nigger Standard Time (NST) and hope for the best. Even this simple change in your watch does not guarantee your plans will go off without a hitch.

Before all you parole officers and family court judges get bent out of shape when said nigger does not show up on time to check in or for his hearing, have a little sympathy. It has been proven that melanin affects one's perception of time so the more this chemical you have in your body, the harder it will be for you to keep track of time (and the darker your skin will be and the worse your credit is). This little known scientific fact also explains why mexicans are so sleepy all the time. Melanin is strange in that it makes it more difficult to keep track of time, but easier to move through space. This is why Niggas are naturally gifted athletes and Mexicans can jump over any fence regardless of height.

Because we understand that melanin destroys a persons ability to be on time, welfare offices every have adjusted their clocks to account for this. However, niggas still manage to find a way to be tardy to everything. Even if you give them a twenty minute window to account for this, mystical forces seem to make them even later than they originally would have been. Your best bet is simply to accept that the niggas in your life will not arrive anywhere on time. Unless, of course, you are giving a away fried chicken