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[/caption]I'd like to start out this article by giving you my own personal definition of slut. A slut is girl that uses her sexuality as a means of expression. I'm aware that won't change girls equation of me = judgmental asshole and guys equation of slut = blowjob in the back alley. However, take note of a few things about this definition:
1) It is totally void of judgment. It is not a good or bad thing, fulfilling or draining, or even useful or detrimental, to be a slut. In other words, sluts are neutral in my moral hemisphere. I do not expect many to share the same view point.
2) With that said, sluts very much are like anything else in the world. It's like the old saying goes: "Nothing is either good or bad, only thinking makes it so." Sluts are like fire, water and white people--they can be bearers of immense pleasure, or harbingers of death.
3) Slut is a noun, but it can also be an adjective. Example:
That girl is a slut = Noun usage
That girl is wearing a slutty dress = adjective.
This is grammar lesson might seem trivial, but it highlights the key difference in my thinking compared to the rest of the population about sluts. I do not believe sluts exist. Yes, a girl can act so slutty that she becomes known by that identity, but it's not like it's her height. It can be changed, and it does change (by option or de facto when she's over the hill) It's an adjective. Stupid people occasionally have moments of brilliance, but continued moments of idiocy usually does get someone branded a moron for life. It's not fair, but it's what happens.
4) Sluts are not whores. Yes, in the heat of battle, even I slip up and refer to them as whores, but it's important to remember that whore is an actual profession. It's just that to be a whore, the slut must be strong within you. The inverse of this statement is no true, therefore the terms not interchangable.
5) There are degrees of slutdom, but being born with a vagina means you score at least 1 point according to my definition. Yes, I realize that I'm saying that every woman is a slut but if you look at my definition you'll realize this is not good or bad, only the truth. Also, all guys are horndogs to some degree. Even the nicest guy in the world, if he was born with a penis, will have considered sleeping with anything in a skirt at one point or another.
6) Yes, I believe girls go through a slut phase. It's not fair (or even logical) to brand them highly slutty when they are 26 and in a committed relationship for things they did when they were 19 and drinking till they blackout and woke up in some guys bed. To take maximum advantage of this knowledge, you obviously would want to hit them in the slut phase with the tide (and panties) are low. Stay away from high tide. Cost/benefit analysis usually doesn't bode well.
7) Finally, even though I think slut a neutral term, I realize most people do not share that view. To all the girls reading this who are getting their g-strings in a fit over my highly judgmental term (despite my defense earlier in the post) to you I say this: If you think slut is a negative term, then it is to you. I'm not going to stop using it to describe certain aspects of female behavior anymore than you'll stop using the word stupid to describe people who do shit like graduate from high school at 22 or who asks the police to test their crack for purity.
With all of the above said, I bring to you my own personal checklist for spotting the sluttiest girls at any venue. I know guys will be eating this up, and women will now wonder how slutty they're appearing when they go out. However, I suspect barring a one or two startling revelations, most girls already know the answer and will deny their sluttiness. Or better yet, defend their position as being innocent. Fuck that noise, I know better.
Smokers: +10
I first made this connection when I got old enough to go out to bars. Too bad I didn't realize it sooner. Give a girl 10 points on her sluttiness scale if you notices she smokes. I'm sure it's no coincidence that the girl who is mostly like to blow you that night also enjoys sucking on the long cylindrical objects that can kill her. And hey, just think, dicks don't usually cause cancer (except in the case of penis exposed to fallout. in that case, make sure you wear a lead condom). Those argue against this, statistics, I summon thee!
Heavy drinkers: +10
Here is a secret I bet no one knows: the more flowing the nectar of the gods is, the more flowing her nectar will be. I've even got this shit worked out mathematically. Whatever the girls BAC is, the more likely it is she'll spread for someone that night. Don't get caught up in the semantics--some girls have standards and will only jerk you off or blow you.
If you use my formula, then a girl who does a few shots and gets a respective BAC of .15 is 30 percent more likely to ramp her slut to porn star levels. Those that drink to barely can walk levels more than twice a week should automatically light up on any guys radar if she's in their social circle, and at the bar, and at parties or bars, watch for any girl doing shots.
"All you got to do is use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows to tackle a gazelle? It's written, it's a code written in his DNA, says, "Tackle the gazelle." And believe it or not, in every man there's a code written that says, "Tackle drunk bitches."
-Jay, The Forty Year Old Virgin
Hard Drug Users: 15-20+
Risky behaviors comes in clusters, so if you want to separate out the easiest, sluttiest girls, find one that indulges heroin, cocaine, meth or pcp. However, if you get HIV or wake up with your shit stolen by a crackhead, don't blame me. I'm just pointing out trends. I don't want to be responsible for what the cat dragged in.
Tattoos and Piercings: +8, +1 for each subsequent tattoo and piercing, +12 for a lower back tattoo independant in addition to prior score., +20 for nipple ring, +40 for clit ring
It's called a "Tramp Stamp" and not a "Nun Stamp" or an "I'm saving myself for marriage stamp." Whether it's being slutty that makes a girl get a tattoo, or girls that opt to get tattoos are more slutty, I can't say. No one knows whether the chicken came before the egg--all we know is that chickens and eggs are fuckin delicious and we can't have one without the other.
Athletic/Competitive Women: +5
This only gets five points, and like everything else in this list, it is a gross generalization, but my experience and shown a strong enough correlation to where I trust it and therefore so should you. Competition and athletic ability are fueled by that wonderful hormone testosterone. Testerone is responsible for all sorts of wonderful things, though none more wonderful than our sex drive. The more of it you have, the more horny you'll be. You'll also be more competative and athletic, hence the relationship. Guys have 40-60 times more of testosterone than women, which accounts for our "bang anything that moves after we play a game of tackle football without pads" mentality, but girls are far more sensitive to it's effects. Find a girl that likes to compete at everything or plays a few sports, and she is guaranteed to be a little more slutty than your run of the mill submissive girly girl.
Girls on Meds: +10 to 15
Any tried and true player in the game has had to notice a striking relationship between girls that admit they are taking anti depressants or mood altering medication, and their level of sluttiness. I do not know the science behind this one exactly, but I know it's so true that any girl that mentions meds in her background I automatically start to a detailed cost-benefit analysis in my head before deciding the appropriate course of action. Most times it's just not worth it because life is already crazy enough without dealing with someone who is legitimately crazy.
Fresh out of Mid-Long Term Relationship: +8
Something about getting out of a relationship brings out this super fierce empowerment in women that makes them do slutty things to verify the end of co-dependance. While these girls may not be extremely slutty normally, they decide to go do slutty because they either want to experience freedom, get back at their ex's, or are just downright depressed and need a way to cope. Thus things like alcohol, hard drugs, cigarettes, and maybe even anti depressants come into play. The funny thing is that this does not last a very long time, so strike while the iron is hot (hey! it's point six being referenced!). These girls tend to be easier. Hence the term, "rebound."
Her (close) Friends are Slutty: +8
Everyone picks their friends based on similar core ideas and value systems. Their especially close friends anyhow. True, you may have a social circle that carries a broad spectrum of personality and ideas, but pay attention to that 80/20 you spend most of your time with and are closest with. 20 percen to the people you spend 80 percent of your time communicating with and talking with will be a lot more similar to you than the other 80 percent. It's a not hard fact (hey, none of this is actually) that they'll share the same view of promiscuity, but it's A LOT MORE LIKELY.
With that list in hand, tally it up. I made these numbers up on the fly based on how much of a single reliable indicator they are, so I don't know what score correlates to what lever of sluttiness, but the higher the numbers, the more likely the girl is at low tide.
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